During my school years, I was not good in academic subjects. I was not an active student. I was not popular and never passed to be a staff writer of our school publication. I was an average student.
When I was 13, I often asked myself, ‘what would I be after 10 years?’ I was not certain in my goals though it instilled in me to finish my studies and to become a successful person! Not just in my career but a successful being a person.
I never jump in and take the reigns. In our community I never experience to be a leader but I am always a good follower. I am a quiet type person. My bestfriend says, “the best word that may describes me is a calm person“. Probably, I am. Because I always believe when there is a trouble, I should analyze the situation calmly and find ways to overcome it. Some people say (those who are not close to me), “I am introvert”. My special one says, “I am reserved type person”. There’s a truth on it. When meeting new people and in new environment I cannot start or hold a conversation. I like to analyze them before I open up.
I want to speak for a reason, and with a purpose. I am very cautious in giving my opinion to my listeners. I do not take a risk to share without thinking it twice. It is a big odd for me to hurt someone else. Yes, it may sound I am “people-pleaser”, isn’t it? I am just avoiding conflicts or fights at any cost. No matter what the people may judge me I want to be consistent for who I am. I believe, this is me and they should love and accept me for who I am. By this I would know my true friend and who I would trust for. To sail under false color has nothing to yield in my life, hence it misleading my own direction.
Over a night, when I was reading my old book from my shelf Getting Unstuck: Breaking Through Your Barriers to Change by Dr. Sidney B. Simon. I bought this book 2 years ago. I remember why I bought this book. I was working in a business capital of our country by then. I was not able to get what I aimed for myself and for my family. There was a circumstance that inevitably I should quit my job. It was an unselfish decision. It was a decision that trading my career. Through this book I have made a lot of realization about real meaning of life. Now, I am seeking of getting out this situation. My life is like to-and-fro. I am still uncertain with my goals. I want to have self-satisfaction through my output in job and service in community. But how would I start these? I have so many fears in life. Fear to reject; fear to say NO; fear to leave my comfort zone. I am stuck. I want a positive change. Yet, to cling on these fears may be a detrimental to my life. I will not achieve what I started now and fulfill my dreams.
Maybe I could not fight totally these fears but allowing and channeling them in to my life, it will shape me into a good person and help to create and live more fulfilling life. I know, learning it by process I will overcome those fears and through mistakes I will define the real meaning of life.
Well life has so many possible mistakes you have to make. They hurt sometimes – a lot of the time. For there, mistakes teach us to be strong and we will perfectly achieve what we work hard for. It is a hard teacher.
And, have strong faith to our God Almighty. He will lead us to our right path. Rest assured, He will never leave us.
I love these lines from Paulo Coelho:
When you find your path, you must not be afraid.
You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.