2020 has shown us how unpredictable life can be. When I took that photo just few hours before 2021, the moon shone brightly, it seemed conveyed the sense of peacefulness and tranquility amidst the darkest hour. The moonlight reflected upon us to bring hope in life even in the darkness. Thus, I am grateful for the gift of life has God given me; a chance to celebrate my birthday on 31st of December 2020 with my family and it was one of the greatest gifts I have had. Yet, in more than 3 decades of my existence, 2020 was the most challenging and a life changing but it gave me time to reflect and I learned so much about myself; and how to value and appreciate little things. May be I experienced hardships, but it made me stronger and ready for 2021 which is still unpredictable. But sometimes, I couldn’t cease to think over and get an earful of news around the globe that makes me feel afraid and worried of the future of my daughter. Probably, some parents may feel the same way. We all have no idea when this current situation would end. So, just embrace and be hopeful to whatever may happen and lies before us and to our family. I know, God is always with us to guide and protect us and just be grateful and thankful that we are still here for our child/children to guide and protect them.
Last weekend, I read a book about Gift of Peace, this is really timely for the current situation which I think, I also need an inner peace or a peaceful mind. Honestly, sometimes I feel exhausted and incapable from the demands of raising a child and a lifelong journey of a motherhood. I am always thinking if how could I contribute financially as a stay at home mother? Despite of, circumstances happening nowadays, still I am grateful for a good provider, responsible and supportive husband to our family especially to our daughter by which it gives me peace of mind and security.
I am happy also that I could access internet which is another way to alleviate my stress and worry. I could express freely my feelings and thoughts to different platforms which I am comfortable with. I gained friends virtually who are open minded and understanding to different beliefs, culture and situation.
These days, I need a peace of mind to create a peaceful life and to fulfill my duty as a mother with confidence, joy and strength to raise a happy, kind and loving daughter.
As what Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Renewing of mind is a great way to begin living a more healthy and happy life.
“I won’t be home for Christmas!” This would be the saddest words that I’ve heard this month of joyous for a mother working in another country. 
“I am a Single Mom. Surviving and Thriving!” One of my friends I really admire for being a very strong person is Jing. She juggles two roles. The role of father and that of mother at the same time. She is a single Mother for almost ten years, it’s all on her to provide, to nurture, to care for, to teach, and to discipline her two kids. I can see the sense of determination on her. She said, as Christmas gets closer and closer, she feels the intense pressure of responsibility to make her kids happy this season. But still she is very positive and has a strong faith in God to provide everything what they needs. Yet, despite of her past experiences she is still thankful. God gave her the best gift ever with a smart, kind and compassionate kids that makes her life lighter; and it gives hope and strength for her to move forward and to provide the primary needs of her kids.
“I’m just a Mom.” I talked to a friend and a high school classmate about ‘how motherhood changed her life’. She is married for more than 12 years now with two kids and a full time mother. It is somehow difficult for her to raise her growing up kids as her husband working in South Korea but with her very supportive family everything gets lighter. I really admire her, for her perception about being a fulltime mother. Yes, it changed her life and her identity for not being ‘just a mom’, she spoke with a conviction that ‘I am not just a Mom!’. Certainly true, I could relate. Being a fulltime mother is really a plain hard! It encompasses dozens of careers such as teachers, cook/chef, event planner, housekeeper, accountant, etc. For her Christmas is a bit not complete because her husband is physically apart with them, somehow thankful for the internet that brings them together virtually. 
Through every single teardrop
rolling down my face.
Beseech thy sun to appear
and to see the golden light.
It calms and gives solace
for my wailing heart;
that brings a new day with new hopes and strengths
for a new beginning....
Grateful, Thankful & Blessed. 